I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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