just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
