How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
