When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
