yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
