Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
