Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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