His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
