There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
