it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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