Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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