I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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