I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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