Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
