Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Congratulations! We have a period
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