There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
