speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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