He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
