dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
