friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
