we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
