So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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