I need help removing her.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Are we still banned from the library?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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