He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
