fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
