is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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