can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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