Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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