I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
