I got chris browned last night
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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