I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
