i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
