I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Im part way to drunk.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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