Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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