so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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