The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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