Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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