Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
