You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
