did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
