do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
