i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
