Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
