I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
