sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
