its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Congratulations! We have a period
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize