i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
