Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize