The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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