9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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