I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
