Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
