Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
