my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize