I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
