Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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