If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
