dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize