No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
