guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
