But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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