so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
