I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
