i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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