So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
