She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
