last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
